Got Friends?

My family attended Providence Church in West Chester last Sunday and listened to a really good sermon.  Below are some bullet points from that sermon:

*  Jesus uses us as his strategy to fight the war

*  We are in training for the fight every day.  Our words matter, how we use our money matters, everything we do matters.  We are fighting for our lives.

*  We go into the fight together.  We all need godly friends and we need to be godly friends.

*  There is a difference between true friends and acquaintances.  Having lots of friends on Facebook is not the same as being a godly friend.

*  So often in today's culture we convey information rather than humanity.  Social media puts the focus on ourselves and less on others.

*  The definition of a godly friend:  Someone who stays with you where you are but loves you enough to not let you remain where you are.  Jesus modeled this more than anyone (Zacchaeus is just one example).

*  Tests for friendship: 

    1 - friends stop and stick with you - they WANT to be with you - not just for "coffee" but for meal sharing.  Meal sharing was an important social event in the days of Jesus and is often overlooked today.

    2 - Godly friends know all about you and still accept you (Jesus knew Zacchaeus inside out!).  It's not if you behave a certain way or do certain things for them.  If something happens a true friend will stick with you otherwise it's a superficial and fake friendship.

    3 - Friends are willing to wound you in order to help you. Try not to be defensive.  You should know you are with a godly friend if they are willing to hurt you to help you.  We all have at least one friend like this - Jesus!

    4 - Godly friends are willing to lay down their lives for others to see Jesus

In order to have godly friendships your relationship with Jesus comes first.  Remember you are forgiven and you have all you need - these things will transform you and show you what godly friendships should be.

Don't enlarge your circle of friends but rather enrich it.

Wonders

So God created man in his own image, 

in the image of God he created him;

male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:27

Have you ever wondered how we have come to know that ....................

     a brook babbles

                    the wind whispers

                                      the sun caresses

                                                             rain cleanses

Have you ever wondered ....................

    who created music?   and why do we feel emotions when we listen to music?  

    who created art? 

                     or our desire to create that comes from deep within?  

                                                                                                  or to tell a story?  

                                                                or to write poetry?

Did all of these wondrous things really come from a "big bang?"   From a blob in the sea?    Did they really evolve from a primate?   Or a chunk of the sun twirling through space?  From panspermia, biopoesis, cosmogeny, endosymbiosis, spontaneous generation, clay, consecutive creation, materialistic or organic evolution?

Have you ever really thought about it?  

"Let us make man in our image, after our likeness."

Genesis 1:26

The Scriptures

excerpts from Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton ...............


This was the beginning of my life in Christian ministry, a life of studying, teaching, applying Scripture, and it was deeply satisfying.

To a point.

You see, something else was happening that was very subtle. Somewhere along the way I figured out that you could get really good at studying and memorizing verses, filling in the blanks of Bible study guides, checking chapters off a reading list, coming up with creative approaches for Bible study and message preparation.  In my circles, you could get major brownie points for such things.  Although I wouldn't have known how to talk about it then, slowly but surely the Scriptures were becoming a place of human striving and intellectual hard work.  Somehow, I had fallen into a pattern of using the Scriptures as a tool to accomplish utilitarian purposes rather than experiencing them primarily as a place of intimacy with God for my own soul's sake.

And somewhere along the way I got tired.  Very tired.  When I was alone with the Scriptures, they began to feel lifeless and boring, irrelevant and obligatory.  When I was with the Scriptures with others - in Bible studies, listening to sermons, reading books and commentaries - the Scripture felt ponderous, like a tool people were using to rein me in, or tell me what to do, or coerce me into their way of thinking.

This kind of admission doesn't go over very well in your average church setting or small group Bible study, but it was true nonetheless.  The real surprise was not that this happened but the fact that the shift was so subtle. After all, the purposes for which I was using the Scriptures were not bad in and of themselves.  Its just that over time, without my awareness, those purposes had trumped the greater purpose for which the Scriptures have been given:  to allow my own heart and soul to be penetrated by an intimate word from God. My mind remained engaged, but my heart and soul had drifted far away.

Many of us approach the Scriptures more like a textbook than like a love letter.

When we engage the Scriptures for spiritual transformation ..................  we open ourselves to a deeper level of understanding and insight that grows out of and leads us deeper into our personal relationship with the One behind the text.

When we engage the Scriptures for spiritual transformation, we make it our top priority to listen to God relationally rather than seeking only to learn more about God cognitively.

Then, as God speaks to us through Scripture, we respond to what we read with our heart and soul rather than just our intellect.

In addition to asking, What does it say? What does it mean? How do I apply it to my life? we might ask:

How do I feel about what is being said? Where do I find myself resonating deeply? Why do I feel this way? What do my reactions tell me about myself - my attitudes, my relating patterns, my perspectives, my behaviors? Am I willing to look at that in God's presence?

Contemporary Christianity

In entering human history God shattered all previous conceptions of who God is and what people are meant to be.  In the New Testament we are presented with a God who suffers crucifixion, a Supreme Being with spit on his face.  What He went through in His passion and death is meant for me too; the invitation He issues is, "Don't weep for Me! Join Me! The life I have planned for Christians is a Christian life, much like the life I led.  I wasn't poor so that you  might be rich. I wasn't mocked so that you might be honored.  I wasn't laughed at so that you could be lauded.  I was revealing the Christian picture of man and woman, one that is meant to include you, too."  Paul wrote to the Colossians, "We are meant to fill up what is wanting in the suffering of Christ."

We get so used to the ultimate Christian fact - Jesus stripped, flogged and crucified - that we no longer see Him for what He actually is:  a living injunction to strip ourselves of earthly cares and worldly wisdom, all desire for human praise, greediness for any kind of comfort, spiritual consolations included; a living summons to let go of every kind of worldliness - including that which prefers the more attractive duty to the less attractive, which prods us to put more effort into relationships with the people we want to stand well with.  Even the last rag we cling to - the self-flattery that suggests that we are being rather humble when we disclaim any resemblance to Jesus Christ - even that rag has to go when we stand face-to-face with the crucified Son of Man.

The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus by Brennan Manning
 

Intellect vs. Emotion

Growing up the child of a controlling mother, certain emotions were something frowned upon and discouraged.  If she could have gotten into her children's heads she would have scrubbed them clean of any disparaging thoughts or rebellious interludes.  In fact, opinions that differed from hers were not even tolerated.  Perhaps emotions such as peace, happiness and joy were allowed, but the funny thing is, when a person is robbed of the full gamut of emotions, even those elevated as superior will begin to fade and diminish - either stuffed down inside or replaced with depression and/or despair.  Every emotion we can name is supposed to be present in our human beings.  Of course because of the fall that was ruined, but certainly we should not continue down that road by disavowing the existence and usefulness of certain emotions either.

From The Gift of Anger by Carroll Saussy:

When beliefs about emotions are embedded in dualistic thinking, the emphasis shifts to separations rather than intimate connection between one value and another. 

Instead of emphasizing that thought and emotion can be the best of intimate partners, dualistic thinking implies that they are separate and competing.  The insinuation is that being rational and objective requires following rules and standards; being emotional and subjective means running wild.  However, the unavoidable truth is that thought and feeling are so mutually wedded that there is no thought without feeling tones, no feeling that is mindless.

Dualistic thinking shapes religious teaching about the emotions, and with it, parental injunctions about their expression.  Most people have been taught that emotions are to be under the control of the mind - if not the mind, then the will - but in either case one should be able to control those unruly troublemakers, especially anger, fear, sadness, hatred, and depression.

Nico Frijda in The Law of Situational Meaning says: "Emotions arise in response to the meaning structures of given situations; different emotions arise in response to different meaning structures."

Thought and feeling are not to be separated.  Because a person holds certain thoughts or assessments regarding a particular person or value (and those thoughts are laden with feeling), she or he experiences certain emotions when that person or value is present, other emotions when the person is absent, and still different emotions when the value is secure from when it is endangered. 

Frijda uses the analogy of the pianist, saying that experience "appraised in terms of their meanings are the emotional piano player's finger strokes; available modes of action readiness are the keys that are tapped; changes in action readiness are the tones brought forth."


This struck a chord in me (no pun intended) as I thought back to my childhood.  I started piano at the age of six and very quickly became a pretty good pianist, receiving a perfect score at my first National Piano Playing Auditions in Washington D.C.  I loved playing piano for probably several different reasons but the one that comes to mind after reading the above is that I could use ALL my emotions while playing.  It was probably the only time I was allowed, no encouraged, to let go and experience my feelings in their fullness.  And I did.  Sadness, joy, anger, sorrow all came flowing out of my little fingers.  It was euphoric and liberating.  It brought me in touch with my emotions and allowed me to validate them in a way my controlling parent prohibited.  Wouldn't it be equally liberating to have this experience in our daily lives?

Frequently we hear "Don't get emotional" being tossed at women as a way of putting down their powerful reactions, almost always with the implication that clear thinking is trustworthy (and masculine); strong feeling, suspicious (and feminine or perhaps the characteristic of an unmanly man, out of control").  James and Evelyn Whitehead, Shadows of the Heart: A Spirituality of the Negative Emotions

Trust and cherish the whole gamut of emotions, no matter how troublesome they can be at times. I developed a passionate dedication to helping others believe in their emotions as messages from their "true selves."

Can it be that when feelings/emotions are combined WITH logic/intellect followed by deep immersion in Godly prayer there will be the potential for the most powerful witness we can be blessed to behold?  That we are created to combine emotion and intellect, not separate them, and when we align our will with that of the Lord's, we will be able to achieve all things in His name.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

 

Live Before You Die - day 17

God may challenge us to think differently about things or to reach out to new levels of faith, but He doesn't create confusion or the doubt and strife that often accompany it.

Jesus's voice comes with an awareness of heavenly peace. Sometimes the Lord speaks words of correction and rebuke.  There are also situations when the word of the Lord is time sensitive and immediate action is required.  But most of the time when God speaks, it is not a driving, demanding, high-pressure, "You have to do this right now or else!"

The voice of our own longings, interests, and opinions can easily be confused with God's voice.  To make sure what we are hearing is from God, we must identify our desires and self-interests and, as an intentional act of our will, neutralize them.  Conversely, the quieter the voice of our own will, the louder God's voice will be.  Therefore, if what you are sensing grows quieter as you silence your desires, then it is not from God.  But if what you are sensing grows stronger as you neutralize your own desires, then it just might be from the Holy Spirit.

God seldom speaks to strangers who have no time for Him, and even if He did, they would not recognize His voice.  He loves to speak to people who love Him and desire to live their lives in His presence.  He draws near to those who, as an act of their will, have drawn near to Him (James 4:8).  The more time we spend alone with Him seeking His face through prayer and worship, the easier it becomes to hear and immediately recognize His voice in our hearts.

We can all hear the voice of God if we will learn to listen. "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God" (Rom 8:14).

Daniel Kolenda, Live before you die

Live Before You Die - day 16

If any form of emotional and experiential Christianity is not based on Scripture, it is nothing more than New Age mysticism. And if any form of Christianity is entirely cerebral and has no impact on real Word experience, it is nothing more than an empty shell.  People of the Word must also be people of the Spirit, and people of the Spirit must also be people of the Word.

The Word of God is not called "the sword of the Christian."  It is call the sword of the Spirit.  In other words, it belongs to the Spirit.  He alone can wield it properly.  Without the illumination that the Holy Spirit brings, the Bible is just black ink on white paper.

At the end of Jesus's earthly ministry as He was preparing to die on the cross, He told His disciples, "But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you" (John 14:26).  The Holy Spirit is not a doctrine or denomination or optional experience reserved for only a few Christians.  Hearing the voice of God is actually hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit in our hearts.

The more we give the Holy Spirit's presence a place of honor in our lives, the more sensitive we become to His voice.  It's this fellowship and communion with the Holy Spirit that sharpens our spiritual sensitivity and makes our hearts better able to hear the voice of the Lord when He speaks to us.

I have often been asked, "Why doesn't God speak to me?"  I think many times the reason is so simple - we aren't listening!  We are often so busy and in such a hurry that we rush right past the Lord and never stop to give Him our attention.  I wonder how often we miss an encounter with God or a word from heaven simply because we are too busy to take the time to "turn aside."

Prayer is not about making lengthy lists of requests for God and continually chattering for as long as possible.  Sometimes the best thing you can do is to be quiet and listen!  Francois Fenelon said, "A humility that is still talkative doesn't run very deep."  Learn to become quiet in the presence of the Lord, in a posture of humility and awe, and tune your spiritual ears to His voice.

Daniel Kolenda, Live before you die