Heart of Love

The heart of a mother never changes.  It starts the day she finds out she is carrying around another soul inside of her (or the day she picks up her adopted child) and it continues on the rest of her life.  She loves that little being more than her own life.  She nurtures, nourishes, protects and provides for that being.  She cannot, should she even desire to, turn off those traits when that little being becomes full grown.  She longs to be part of that life and to help that life fulfill his/her God-given potential.  But alas, the world as it is today is not conducive to a life intertwined.  Our children grow up to live as independent a life as possible, moving from place to place, separated, self-reliant and unconnected.  And ironically, we encouraged them to do so.  We cheered them on when they learned to walk, first rode a bike, went on a sleepover, learned how to drive and then went away to college.  What were we thinking?  If I could do it all over I wouldn't let them do any of those things.  Well, that's probably not true.  Okay, it's not true at all.  Sigh.

So this morning I went on my daily walk only to witness two little children at the end of their driveway waiting for the school bus to pick them up.  Why did it have to be a little first grade girl and her big brother probably in the 3rd or 4th grade?  Why did it remind me of my two babies waiting for the bus together (who are now 30 and 33 yrs old!)?  And why did I start bawling like a fool all the way home (and praying no one saw me)?  Why do I miss my children so much and why do I hate living far enough away from them that I can't be part of their lives on a daily/weekly basis?  Why does it hurt some days beyond what I think I can bear?

Because the heart of a mother never changes.

This reminded me of another heart that is filled with unconditional love for His children. And that no matter how much my heart aches over the separation between myself and my children, it's only a fraction of what God feels being separated from His children.  His heart ached so much He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to be the sacrificial Lamb so that we could once again come home to Him. And He waits, patiently, for every one of His children to make that journey - not willing to cut the time short and miss even one of His own. Praise the Lord, hallelujah!!!  That's the heart of our Father - and it never changes.

To Those Who Wait by Bethany Dillon

I am waiting on You,
I am waiting on You.
You say You’re good to those who wait.

My heart’s discouraged,
So I come to You expectant. 
You say You’re good to those who wait. 

Lord, today You know what I need to do,
But You can do more in my waiting than in my doing I could do.
So I won’t run anymore.
I’m waiting on You.

Oh, wretched man that I am!
Free me from my distractions.
You say You’re good to those who wait. 

Then confession and repentance
Find me in the quiet.
You say You’re good to those who wait.
Now I know You’re good to those who wait.

Lord, today You know what I need to do,
But You can do more in my waiting than in my doing I could do.
So I won’t run anymore.
I’m waiting on You.

Oh, my soul,
Wait upon the Lord.
Keep your lamp filled with oil.
Oh, my soul,
Be not deceived!
Wait for Him.
Don’t be quick to leave.

Lord, today You know what I need to do,
But You can do more in my waiting than in my doing I could do.
So I won’t run anymore.
I’m waiting on You.

Questions about Abortion and Life

by Damon Parker

To say that talking about abortion is like opening a can of worms may be the greatest understatement of all time. There is so much emotion and ideology attached that once the word abortion is uttered the lines of defense are instantly drawn, the trenches dug, and everyone settles in for war. To try to ask people to see things from other points of view, or even acknowledge the other side may have a decent point or two, is to stand in no-man’s land with machine gun fire coming from both sides.

Yet, that is what I want to do.

Now, I definitely have a stance. I have really strong beliefs. But I do try to see and hear others.

So what I pose here are just some thoughts and questions. I am not pretending that some of them aren’t slanted. They are. I am not saying that I have all the answers. I don’t. But I wish that instead of blindly defending what we think, we would at least allow a question or two to seep in.

Please use this to simply think. If reading one of these questions or thoughts makes you want to instantly stop reading, or convinces you that I am in some other camp that you want no part with then slow down. Think. Why did that push your buttons? Too often we claim to be willing to listen, to be open-minded, to legitimately look at things from other perspectives, but when push comes to shove we quickly dismiss even a thought-provoking question if it differs with our own views. Just take it in. Think.

And please don’t assume that you know my answer to all of these questions. Some of them I don’t even know what my answer is.

If the reason for allowing abortion is that “it is a woman’s body, and she has the right to do with it as she wills”, then shouldn’t prostitution be legal? What about me selling my kidney to someone who needs a transplant?

We have a huge movement in our country to do things naturally. Eat organic, be at one with nature. Yet, many women who wouldn’t dare darken the doors of McDonald’s take birth control pills that dramatically alter what their body naturally does. Why is one okay but the other is not? And then how “natural” is abortion?

Can we please find better language for all this stuff? I read a blog post (written by a woman) that I felt was pretty even-handed in its approach to the Planned Parenthood videos. Yet, the comments were brutal, mean, and one even claimed that the writer was part of a war on women. Seriously? Just because someone is pro-baby doesn’t make them anti-woman does it? Do we have to paint each other into a corner because we are afraid if we actually listened to one another we might learn something or maybe even have to change? If all you can do is chant for your side (whichever that is), and paint the other side as evil, then maybe that is a huge part of the problem?

Let me ask a question to those who are pro-life: What are you doing besides voting and complaining to be a part of the life-giving solution? Are you adopting kids? Fighting for justice? Seeking ways to help the poor and suffering? Trying to stop wars and violence?

Let me ask a question to those who are pro-choice: If someone truly believes that a murder is being committed, what do you expect them to do? I mean, if I knew that someone was going to murder your mother, wouldn’t you want me to do everything in my power and then some to stop it? If someone believes abortion is murder, would you think much of them if they just did nothing?

I hear some people make the point that if the “conservative ” camp cares so much about life, then why aren’t they doing more to stop wars, domestic violence, the death penalty, etc…? You know what; I think that is a pretty good point.

I hear some people make the point that if the “liberal” camp cares so much about stopping something like the death penalty, why don’t they care more about abortion since for every 1 person executed in the United States there are around 25,000 abortions? You know what; I think that is a pretty good point.

I am pro-life. Let me explain. I am for senseless killing to stop, whether it is done with a gun, a grenade, an electric chair, or a scalpel. There is far too much people killing people in this world.

I am pro-choice. Let me explain. I believe that one of the first things God gives people is freedom. They get to choose to even do stupid stuff. We can choose to do things that hurt us or our relationships, or we can choose to do things that bring joy and peace. But we all have the right to choose. However, my personal belief is that rather than defining abortion as the moment of choice, it would be more honest to look at all the choices we make that lead up to that moment.

Finally let me say, I follow Jesus. He is the Lord of Life. Therefore, I stand for life and dignity anywhere I can. But that does not mean that I hate or disparage someone who has an abortion. No, I treat them with love and dignity as well. I just hope that we can all move beyond the idea that we have to hate the other side, as well as come to a place where someone can think what we are doing is completely wrong, but we don’t interpret that as hate. It is the only way this discussion can ever move forward.

Every Child A Wanted Child

from Pythiastheology......................

Planned? Parenthood by Damon Parker

(This is the first in a series of posts about children, parenting, and abortion.)

With so much in the news about Planned Parenthood, I wanted to speak to something that rarely gets talked about. I do this not as a pastor or citizen, but rather as a father. And what I want to talk about is not federal dollars or hidden cameras or even abortion. No, I want to talk about slogans.

Planned Parenthood’s slogan for years was “Every Child A Wanted Child”. Which sounds great. Who thinks it wouldn’t be a better world if every child that was born was greeted with joy and expectation? I love to hear someone get so excited over the little one they are about to bring into the world. And I know how important it is, what a difference it makes, for a child to be loved by people who are ready and capable.

Where I differ with Planned Parenthood, and to be honest with many people including other Christians, is how to get there.

We have become convinced that a baby should come when we say so. We use pills and condoms and iuds and shots to wait for (in our opinion) the perfect moment. When we finally have it all together. When we have just the right partner, the right job, the right financial situation. And yet…that is not how it works.

I have yet to meet a single person who claims that when they had their first child, no matter when, they were truly ready.

How do you actually prepare for the late nights with a colicky baby? Yes, we may mature as we get older (some people definitely do not!). But, while we can promote growth and self-discipline, that is not what people mean when they say they are ready for a child (or for another child).

No, what we mean is typically this: I have a feeling that says I am now ready for a baby.

Many things may or may not play into that feeling. Financial situation, marital status, age, employment and a myriad of factors that are impossible to quantify. Yet, people with no money in the bank will want a baby, and those with millions may say they are not ready. There is no factor that is magic. Because we are talking about a feeling.

So, on the one hand we seem to be waiting for a very specific feeling that says “I am ready”. But there is another side as well.

There is a logic that says that giving people access to birth control actually reduces abortion. And it makes sense. Without the birth control Planned Parenthood helps provide, some of those women would probably get an abortion.

But we have to think deeper. What if our reliance on birth control has led us to the false belief that whatever I do sexually, there shouldn’t be consequences? What if the fact that we feel like we can control when we get pregnant, leads us to believe we should completely control that whole process? Therefore, of course abortion is an option, because our mentality is that we shouldn’t have to deal with a pregnancy we don’t want. I don’t have that feeling that I am ready for a child, so…

Maybe we have more abortions, because our sexual behavior requires no maturing. What if our reliance on avoiding pregnancy while still having the pleasure of sex, is part of what keeps us immature? Think about it. The birth control industry teaches us that we should enjoy this intimate act, but we shouldn’t have to deal with a single consequence. I should be able to have sex whenever and with whomever I want without cost. We think we can make sex “safe”, but we are fooling ourselves. There is nothing “safe” about it. But, one of the things we have put to great risk by believing sex can be without consequence is our own spiritual and emotional growth.

So, the way we have sex does not require or foster maturing. And since we are not maturing, we simply wait for a feeling that tells me the time is now.

What if there is another way, a different path?

A Road Less Travelled

I must really love kids. At least that is how some people see it. They assume that having a large family means that was the goal. Others think we are crazy, or that we belong to some type of cult that worships pregnancy (I actually laughed out loud writing that.)

But the truth is much stranger.

You see, I don’t have seven children because seven times my wife and I determined that we were ready. Sure, we talked about that. Living in a society where people constantly talk about ready or not ready, or how they are “trying”, or that their youngest was an “accident”, you can’t help but think that way. But that has not been our determining factor. No, the reason we have seven kids is because…

See, you really want to know.   I find this all the time. People will talk with me who are obviously flabbergasted. They can’t even imagine a reason. It is so far removed from our cultural expectations. Because we have all bought in. We may frown upon abortion, but we do believe that we know best when it comes to the exact right number and timing of children.

And that is what my wife and I have given up. We have determined that actually, we may not know best. That our “feeling” shouldn’t be the all-determining factor. That our selfishness is too great. That for every child to be wanted requires us to want whatever child comes our way.  And that wanting any child is a spiritual discipline.

That doesn’t mean I look down on someone who doesn’t have children or doesn’t want children or uses birth control. I don’t. But I do believe that most people I know have never thought outside that box. Birth control is assumed. What would happen if we no longer assumed?

It certainly doesn’t mean I look with disdain on a teenage mom, or a college student who has an abortion. No. In fact, they have my utmost sympathy. They are being dragged through a culture that has taught them only one way to think: Have sex when you want-get pregnant when you want. For millennia sex and pregnancy were intimately connected. You can’t suddenly unplug them and not expect something to happen.

As a kid, my family would often go and eat Mexican food. After filling up on chips, salsa, nachos, refried beans, enchiladas and everything else, we would be very slowly making our way out of the restaurant when my father would say, “ooh, I am not ever doing that again.” And yet, a few days later, there we were once again filling up on chimichangas and tamales. If we could have taken a pill that would undue or shield us from the consequences of that meal, we probably would have. After all, we would have eaten Tex-Mex every day if we had the money and the stomach for it. Luckily, no such pill exists. Otherwise, I would never eat a vegetable or a salad. Tex-Mex all the time for me. Which would be horrible for me.

Anytime we divorce the normal consequences of an action from that action we are incentivizing behavior. That is what we are doing with birth control. It incentivizes sex on the front end, and may create a culture where abortion seems reasonable on the back-end.

So, in response to the outrage and counter-outrage about the Planned Parenthood videos, I am not calling for people who are having abortions to stop. I am calling for us to consider something much bigger. What if we changed our entire outlook on children? What if we decided to want every child? What if we looked at the tight bonds that exist between marriage, sex, pregnancy and family and held them up not simply as nice ideals but as real possibilities?  What if we fostered the idea that “every child a wanted child” isn’t just a slogan, it can be a reality?

Are we at least willing to consider that there might be another way?

(Next Week: The way we talk about children and how it influences our choices)

Damon Parker | August 12, 2015 at 9:51 am | Tags: Children, Family, Gospel, Love, Parenting | Categories: Abortion, Choices, God, Gospel, Love, Parenting, Politics, Pregnancy | URL: http://wp.me/p3IHF1-8J

thank you

Joy Comes With The Morning

Read 2 Samuel 7:1-29

There is much content here but the point I would like to make has to do with David's response to God's denial he would build the Temple.  He was not in despair - nor was he angry - he was grateful.  David's prayer rejoiced over the promise of future blessings and also acknowledged God's sovereignty.

Shouldn't that be our response to the disappointments of our day?  Not that we shouldn't feel the sadness that comes as we watch God's values, our country and Constitution being decimated - we wouldn't be human if our hearts weren't broken. But when we fix our eyes on the One who has already declared victory and saved us from eternal damnation, how can we feel anything but gratitude and joy?

Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints,

and give thanks to his holy name.

For his anger is but for a moment,

and his favor is for a lifetime.

Weeping may tarry for the night

but joy comes with the morning.

Psalm 30:4-5

R.C. Sproul on Suffering

In our age we think in terms of public relations.  We are afraid people might not care for God if the truth were known about his relationship to suffering.  Better to shield God from accusations that he is not loving and kind by making him impotent in the face of suffering. Better to comfort the afflicted with the idea that God is in his heaven full of sympathy, wishing the suffering would just go away but unable to make it happen.

The Puritans understood what we so often miss in our suffering, that the route to comfort (and , of course, the route to truth) is not to separate the suffering from the sovereignty of God but to recognize just how tightly bound they are.

The goodness of God does not preclude him from allowing suffering or pain.  If anything, the difficult question is not how God could allow us to suffer but how he could allow us, who rebel against his majestic authority every day, who repay our Maker with incessant revolt, ever to experience pleasure. There is no logical problem of pain for sinners, only a problem of pleasure. The puzzler is why God would allow pleasure in the lives of we who hate him and do not obey his commands.

Suffering doesn't just come because God sends it after we sin, but sin will always lead to suffering, because to sin is to act against our best interests. But we mustn't conclude we can measure the sinfulness of a person by the degree of his or her suffering. Did Job deserve what he went through? No, he didn't. Job deserved far worse. Job's plight fell well short of what was due him, eternal damnation. Job was a sinner in the sense that all but Jesus are sinners. And all sinners deserve eternal damnation.

So as we look at the problem of suffering, we must keep in mind not only that we never suffer more than we deserve but also that our suffering does not serve as a barometer of sin.

excerpts from Almighty Over All, R.C. Sproul