Back from our street ministry in Baltimore and once again God has blessed me beyond words. To be used as His hands and feet always brings me to a place of indescribable ecstasy - a privilege undeserved and yet never to be taken for granted. And once again I come home with a new question of "why?"
In the past there have been questions of "why the misery?; why the addictions?; why the pain?; why do some have and some don't?; why, Lord, why?" This time was no different - but it was different.
Stanley is a black man probably in his 50's although it's hard to tell when someone has been out in the elements for any length of time. His family has produced four preachers and while Stanley did not profess to be one of them, he could quote scripture and tell us Bible stories better than many preachers out there. So of course I assumed Stanley was a true believer, disciple, follower of Jesus - and in his heart that may be the truth. But Stanley told us he is a sinner (response: we ALL are, Stanley). No, we didn't understand. Stanley is a HUGE sinner who knows better but can't or refuses to clean up his act. And Stanley had another secret - he cannot understand why him. Why, God, why him? Why is he homeless? Why is his life meaningless? What is the purpose of his suffering, sin and feelings of hopelessness? Why doesn't God just change it when He's so powerful and could do it in an instant? Why? Our question was why couldn't Stanley accept grace?
After inadequately making attempt after attempt to answer his questions, Kristina and I began to realize sometimes you just can't answer all questions. Sometimes, as humans, we don't have the answers and we are being dishonest to try and act like we do. Sometimes God doesn't give us the answers. He has His reasons and He doesn't always share those reasons. Maybe because we don't need to know; maybe because we couldn't handle it if we knew; maybe we just wouldn't understand.
Then my daughter, my very insightful daughter, asked Stanley a question (this, by the way, is a time proven way of answering someone's question). She asked him if he took these questions to God - to which Stanley said "oh yes, all the time, I ask and tell God all the time how I feel." And Kristina told Stanley to keep doing that - to keep talking to God, asking Him why, telling Him how he feels. What great advice to give him. The Old Testament is riddled with people who cried to God, complained to God, shouted to God and questioned God. What did they all have in common? Belief. They believed in God Almighty or they wouldn't be crying, complaining, shouting or questioning Him. And through it all He grew their faith.
Stanley said he would definitely keep wrestling with God because, afterall, He is his Father. And there it was - confirmation that despite all the pain, all the disappointment, all the disgrace, there was belief. God can and will deal with Stanley's doubts as long as he keeps taking it to Him. And I thank God for yet another lesson showing me I don't have all the answers but He does. Praise Him for taking the time to grow us, teach us, mold us and love us. Amen.
Click here to read a great article by Philip Yancey on Faith and Doubt.
In the past there have been questions of "why the misery?; why the addictions?; why the pain?; why do some have and some don't?; why, Lord, why?" This time was no different - but it was different.
Stanley is a black man probably in his 50's although it's hard to tell when someone has been out in the elements for any length of time. His family has produced four preachers and while Stanley did not profess to be one of them, he could quote scripture and tell us Bible stories better than many preachers out there. So of course I assumed Stanley was a true believer, disciple, follower of Jesus - and in his heart that may be the truth. But Stanley told us he is a sinner (response: we ALL are, Stanley). No, we didn't understand. Stanley is a HUGE sinner who knows better but can't or refuses to clean up his act. And Stanley had another secret - he cannot understand why him. Why, God, why him? Why is he homeless? Why is his life meaningless? What is the purpose of his suffering, sin and feelings of hopelessness? Why doesn't God just change it when He's so powerful and could do it in an instant? Why? Our question was why couldn't Stanley accept grace?
After inadequately making attempt after attempt to answer his questions, Kristina and I began to realize sometimes you just can't answer all questions. Sometimes, as humans, we don't have the answers and we are being dishonest to try and act like we do. Sometimes God doesn't give us the answers. He has His reasons and He doesn't always share those reasons. Maybe because we don't need to know; maybe because we couldn't handle it if we knew; maybe we just wouldn't understand.
Then my daughter, my very insightful daughter, asked Stanley a question (this, by the way, is a time proven way of answering someone's question). She asked him if he took these questions to God - to which Stanley said "oh yes, all the time, I ask and tell God all the time how I feel." And Kristina told Stanley to keep doing that - to keep talking to God, asking Him why, telling Him how he feels. What great advice to give him. The Old Testament is riddled with people who cried to God, complained to God, shouted to God and questioned God. What did they all have in common? Belief. They believed in God Almighty or they wouldn't be crying, complaining, shouting or questioning Him. And through it all He grew their faith.
Stanley said he would definitely keep wrestling with God because, afterall, He is his Father. And there it was - confirmation that despite all the pain, all the disappointment, all the disgrace, there was belief. God can and will deal with Stanley's doubts as long as he keeps taking it to Him. And I thank God for yet another lesson showing me I don't have all the answers but He does. Praise Him for taking the time to grow us, teach us, mold us and love us. Amen.
Click here to read a great article by Philip Yancey on Faith and Doubt.
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