Growing up the child of a controlling mother, certain emotions were something frowned upon and discouraged. If she could have gotten into her children's heads she would have scrubbed them clean of any disparaging thoughts or rebellious interludes. In fact, opinions that differed from hers were not even tolerated. Perhaps emotions such as peace, happiness and joy were allowed, but the funny thing is, when a person is robbed of the full gamut of emotions, even those elevated as superior will begin to fade and diminish - either stuffed down inside or replaced with depression and/or despair. Every emotion we can name is supposed to be present in our human beings. Of course because of the fall that was ruined, but certainly we should not continue down that road by disavowing the existence and usefulness of certain emotions either.
From The Gift of Anger by Carroll Saussy:
When beliefs about emotions are embedded in dualistic thinking, the emphasis shifts to separations rather than intimate connection between one value and another.
Instead of emphasizing that thought and emotion can be the best of intimate partners, dualistic thinking implies that they are separate and competing. The insinuation is that being rational and objective requires following rules and standards; being emotional and subjective means running wild. However, the unavoidable truth is that thought and feeling are so mutually wedded that there is no thought without feeling tones, no feeling that is mindless.
Dualistic thinking shapes religious teaching about the emotions, and with it, parental injunctions about their expression. Most people have been taught that emotions are to be under the control of the mind - if not the mind, then the will - but in either case one should be able to control those unruly troublemakers, especially anger, fear, sadness, hatred, and depression.
Nico Frijda in The Law of Situational Meaning says: "Emotions arise in response to the meaning structures of given situations; different emotions arise in response to different meaning structures."
Thought and feeling are not to be separated. Because a person holds certain thoughts or assessments regarding a particular person or value (and those thoughts are laden with feeling), she or he experiences certain emotions when that person or value is present, other emotions when the person is absent, and still different emotions when the value is secure from when it is endangered.
Frijda uses the analogy of the pianist, saying that experience "appraised in terms of their meanings are the emotional piano player's finger strokes; available modes of action readiness are the keys that are tapped; changes in action readiness are the tones brought forth."
This struck a chord in me (no pun intended) as I thought back to my childhood. I started piano at the age of six and very quickly became a pretty good pianist, receiving a perfect score at my first National Piano Playing Auditions in Washington D.C. I loved playing piano for probably several different reasons but the one that comes to mind after reading the above is that I could use ALL my emotions while playing. It was probably the only time I was allowed, no encouraged, to let go and experience my feelings in their fullness. And I did. Sadness, joy, anger, sorrow all came flowing out of my little fingers. It was euphoric and liberating. It brought me in touch with my emotions and allowed me to validate them in a way my controlling parent prohibited. Wouldn't it be equally liberating to have this experience in our daily lives?
Frequently we hear "Don't get emotional" being tossed at women as a way of putting down their powerful reactions, almost always with the implication that clear thinking is trustworthy (and masculine); strong feeling, suspicious (and feminine or perhaps the characteristic of an unmanly man, out of control"). James and Evelyn Whitehead, Shadows of the Heart: A Spirituality of the Negative Emotions
Trust and cherish the whole gamut of emotions, no matter how troublesome they can be at times. I developed a passionate dedication to helping others believe in their emotions as messages from their "true selves."
Can it be that when feelings/emotions are combined WITH logic/intellect followed by deep immersion in Godly prayer there will be the potential for the most powerful witness we can be blessed to behold? That we are created to combine emotion and intellect, not separate them, and when we align our will with that of the Lord's, we will be able to achieve all things in His name.
From The Gift of Anger by Carroll Saussy:
When beliefs about emotions are embedded in dualistic thinking, the emphasis shifts to separations rather than intimate connection between one value and another.
Instead of emphasizing that thought and emotion can be the best of intimate partners, dualistic thinking implies that they are separate and competing. The insinuation is that being rational and objective requires following rules and standards; being emotional and subjective means running wild. However, the unavoidable truth is that thought and feeling are so mutually wedded that there is no thought without feeling tones, no feeling that is mindless.
Dualistic thinking shapes religious teaching about the emotions, and with it, parental injunctions about their expression. Most people have been taught that emotions are to be under the control of the mind - if not the mind, then the will - but in either case one should be able to control those unruly troublemakers, especially anger, fear, sadness, hatred, and depression.
Nico Frijda in The Law of Situational Meaning says: "Emotions arise in response to the meaning structures of given situations; different emotions arise in response to different meaning structures."
Thought and feeling are not to be separated. Because a person holds certain thoughts or assessments regarding a particular person or value (and those thoughts are laden with feeling), she or he experiences certain emotions when that person or value is present, other emotions when the person is absent, and still different emotions when the value is secure from when it is endangered.
Frijda uses the analogy of the pianist, saying that experience "appraised in terms of their meanings are the emotional piano player's finger strokes; available modes of action readiness are the keys that are tapped; changes in action readiness are the tones brought forth."
This struck a chord in me (no pun intended) as I thought back to my childhood. I started piano at the age of six and very quickly became a pretty good pianist, receiving a perfect score at my first National Piano Playing Auditions in Washington D.C. I loved playing piano for probably several different reasons but the one that comes to mind after reading the above is that I could use ALL my emotions while playing. It was probably the only time I was allowed, no encouraged, to let go and experience my feelings in their fullness. And I did. Sadness, joy, anger, sorrow all came flowing out of my little fingers. It was euphoric and liberating. It brought me in touch with my emotions and allowed me to validate them in a way my controlling parent prohibited. Wouldn't it be equally liberating to have this experience in our daily lives?
Frequently we hear "Don't get emotional" being tossed at women as a way of putting down their powerful reactions, almost always with the implication that clear thinking is trustworthy (and masculine); strong feeling, suspicious (and feminine or perhaps the characteristic of an unmanly man, out of control"). James and Evelyn Whitehead, Shadows of the Heart: A Spirituality of the Negative Emotions
Trust and cherish the whole gamut of emotions, no matter how troublesome they can be at times. I developed a passionate dedication to helping others believe in their emotions as messages from their "true selves."
Can it be that when feelings/emotions are combined WITH logic/intellect followed by deep immersion in Godly prayer there will be the potential for the most powerful witness we can be blessed to behold? That we are created to combine emotion and intellect, not separate them, and when we align our will with that of the Lord's, we will be able to achieve all things in His name.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13
