Speak the truth in love

In Ephesians we are told to speak the truth in love (Eph 4:15).  I must admit this particular scripture has given me a lot of angst.  What exactly does "in love" mean?  After all, everyone has their own opinion of what love is -  from flowery language; hugs and kisses or using a soft voice to not saying anything if you can't say something nice.  In today's society we are leaning more and more to the side of political correctness by going so far as to tolerate what we know is sinful behavior.  We fear hurting someones feelings and having others view us in a bad light (their opinion).  Is that really love?  Or is that what we currently define as love?

Throughout time we see different cultures emerge with their own set of standards.  Yet God has one set of standards and those standards have not changed or wavered.  It is our desire to excuse our own sinfulness and to rule our own lives that drives us to change definitions.  When this occurs we Christians need to heed God's word and understand what His definitions mean in our lives.

Below is an article I found as I researched the true meaning of "speaking in love."  It resonates truth to me as the author scours the Scriptures to proclaim God's will for us.  At the end I had to wonder if I was guilty of diluting the truth so many times out of fear of man's opinion when I should have been only concerned about God's opinion.  Man's opinion is tainted - God's opinion is truth in it's purest form.  I am to live for Christ, not for man - and to serve man means to speak the truth - boldly and in love.  Let Christ be my example.  Amen.

SPEAKING THE TRUTH IN LOVE

 E. Phillips

". . . But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ." (Eph. 4:15). The setting of this verse indicates that the "speaking in love" concerns the doctrine of Christ which provides the "unity of the Spirit" and opposes the being carried about

with "every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive." This speaking in love also concerns the edifying of the body and the putting off of the old man and putting on of the new man; it involves "neither give place to the devil." (vs. 27).

What does Paul mean by "speaking the truth in love"? Does he mean that no plain, condemning of sin, rebuking language should be used? Does he mean that "name calling" should not be used? How shall we go about determining what the apostle meant by "speaking the truth in love"?

 

Before "searching the scriptures" to determine what this expression means, perhaps it is in order to inquire how one tells when another is NOT "speaking the truth in love." What standard is used? What do those who condemn us for not speaking in love mean by "speaking in love"? Some of them

mean that those who speak "boldly" are not speaking in love; others mean that condemning words are not speaking in love; some mean that when a brother's name is used in connection with a false doctrine or practice, it is not speaking in love. Just how do we determine when one is "speaking the truth in love"? Since the apostle Paul was the instrument of the Holy Spirit to pen these words, let us observe how Paul spoke to see what "speaking in love" means?

It means to speak BOLDLY the word of God. "Great is my boldness of speech toward you. . ." (2 Cor. 7:4). It means to use PLAINNESS of speech. "Seeing then that we have such hope, we use great plainness of speech." (2 Cor. 3:12). It includes RUDE (unskilled, unpolished) speech. "But though I be rude in speech. . ." (2 Cor. 11:6). It means to make MANIFEST or to reveal. "That I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak." (Col. 4:4). It means to speak to PLEASE God and not men. "But as we were allowed of God to be put in truth with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men,

but God, which trieth our hearts" ( I Thess. 2:4). "For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ" (Gal. 1:10). It means to speak the truth without FEAR. "Then spake the Lord to Paul in the night by a vision, Be not afraid,

but speak, and hold not thy peace." (Acts 18:9). It means to speak to put another to SHAME. "I speak to your shame. . ." (I Cor. 6:5) . It means to speak the TRUTH and only the TRUTH. "Whereunto I am ordained a preacher, and an apostle, (I speak the truth in Christ, and lie not;) a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and verity." ( I Tim. 2:7).

It means to speak SOUND DOCTRINE. "But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine . .. Sound speech, that cannot be condemned. . ." (Titus 2 :1,8). It means not to speak in the ENTICING WORDS of man's wisdom. "And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom. . ." (I Cor. 2:4). It means to REPROVE works of darkness. "And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them" (Eph. 5:11). It means to REBUKE with all authority, sharply, and before all. "These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority" (Titus 2:15). "This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith" ( Titus 1:13). "Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear" (I Tim. 5:20).

 

It means the CALLING OF NAMES. "Of whom is Hymenaeus and Alexander; whom I have delivered unto Satan, that they may learn not to blaspheme" ( I Tim. 1:20). "For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world. . ." (2 Tim. 4:10). "Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works." (2 Tim. 4:14). "But Elymas the sorcerer (for so is his name by interpretation) withstood them, seeking to turn away the deputy from the faith. Then Saul, (who also is called Paul) filled with the Holy Ghost, set his eyes on him, and said, O full of all subtlety and all mischief, thou child of the devil, thou enemy of all righteousness, wilt thou not cease to pervert the right ways of the Lord?" (Acts 13:8-10).

Whatever "speaking the truth in love" means, it does not forbid speaking boldly, plainly, making manifest, to please God rather than men, to speak without fear, to speak to shame evil doers, speaking only the truth, sound doctrine, reprove with all authority, sharply and before all, and calling names of those in sin.

Christ is also a good example of speaking sharply and directly to sinners of their sin. Read the 23^rd chapter of Matthew where Jesus condemned the religion of the scribes and Pharisees in no uncertain terms. Was Christ speaking in love? In Revelation 3:19 Jesus said this: "As many as I love, I rebuke

and chasten. . ." To rebuke sin is to speak in love.

False teachers usually deceive by appearing to speak in love. This impresses those who do not care

for the truth. The doctrines of devils include "speaking lies in hypocrisy. . ." (I Tim. 4:2). Even some elders arise "speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them." (Acts 20:30). This is not speaking the truth in love. Some men use "good words and fair speeches" to "deceive the
hearts of the simple." (Rom. 16:18). Some "speak great swelling words of vanity" to "allure through the lusts of the flesh" (2 Pet. 2:18). All of this could not be "speaking the truth in love" by Paul's own definition of it.

Most of those who criticize for speaking boldly and plainly the truth of God, and rebuking with all authority, sharply and before all, think of the love as applying to the individual to whom the preaching is done. They view it as loving sinners so as not to hurt their feelings and expose their error too sharply. The real meaning of "speaking the truth in love" is to have that love for Christ, for the truth, for the church, and for the lost souls of men so as to hold nothing back that is profitable for them. Some have not the love for the truth that they might be saved. (2 Thess. 2:10). We must love the truth more than the "feelings" of men.

Our attitude must be right even in speaking sound doctrine. To preach Christ without sincerity just to add affliction to someone, or out of envy and strife, is not right (Phil. 1:15,16). But this is not determined by the boldness and plainness of speech, nor by sharply rebuking sinners and erring

brethren before all. We make no apology for speaking the truth in love. This writer is not conscious of having ever written or spoken in envy, strife or bitterness. At the same time he intends to continue to speak the truth in love just as it was done by Christ and the apostles. As I find it written
in the Book of books, I shall continue to speak it with boldness and plainness of speech, God being my helper. If I know my own heart I desire none to be lost, but all to come to repentance and be saved.