SPEAKING
THE TRUTH IN LOVE
E. Phillips
". . . But speaking
the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even
Christ." (Eph. 4:15). The setting of this verse indicates that the
"speaking in love" concerns the doctrine of Christ which provides the
"unity of the Spirit" and opposes the being carried about
with "every wind of
doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in
wait to deceive." This speaking in love also concerns the edifying of the body and the
putting off of the old man and putting on of the new man; it involves
"neither give place to the devil." (vs. 27).
What does Paul mean by
"speaking the truth in love"? Does he mean that no plain, condemning
of sin, rebuking language should be used? Does he mean that "name calling"
should not be used? How shall we go about determining what the apostle meant by
"speaking the truth in love"?
Before "searching the
scriptures" to determine what this expression means, perhaps it is in
order to inquire how one tells when another is NOT "speaking the truth in
love." What standard is used? What do those who condemn us for not
speaking in love mean by "speaking in love"? Some of them
mean that those who speak
"boldly" are not speaking in love; others mean that condemning words
are not speaking in love; some mean that when a brother's name is used in
connection with a false doctrine or practice, it is not speaking in love. Just
how do we determine when one is "speaking the truth in love"? Since
the apostle Paul was the instrument of the Holy Spirit to pen these words, let
us observe how Paul spoke to see what "speaking in love" means?
It means to speak BOLDLY the
word of God. "Great is my boldness of speech toward you. . ."
(2 Cor. 7:4). It means to use PLAINNESS of speech. "Seeing then that we
have such hope, we use great plainness of speech." (2 Cor. 3:12).
It includes RUDE (unskilled, unpolished) speech. "But though I be rude in
speech. . ." (2 Cor. 11:6). It means to make MANIFEST or to reveal.
"That I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak." (Col.
4:4). It means to speak to PLEASE God and
not men. "But as we were allowed of God to be put in truth with the
gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men,
but God, which trieth our
hearts" ( I Thess. 2:4). "For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I
seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ"
(Gal. 1:10). It means to speak the truth without FEAR. "Then spake the
Lord to Paul in the night by a vision, Be not afraid,
but speak, and hold not thy
peace." (Acts 18:9). It means to speak to put another to SHAME. "I
speak to your shame. . ." (I Cor. 6:5) . It means to speak the TRUTH and only the TRUTH.
"Whereunto I am ordained a preacher, and an apostle, (I speak the truth
in Christ, and lie not;) a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and verity." ( I
Tim. 2:7).
It means to speak SOUND
DOCTRINE. "But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine
. .. Sound speech, that cannot be condemned. . ." (Titus 2 :1,8). It
means not to speak in the ENTICING WORDS of man's wisdom. "And my speech
and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom. . ."
(I Cor. 2:4). It means to REPROVE works of darkness. "And have no
fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them"
(Eph. 5:11). It means to REBUKE with all authority, sharply, and before all.
"These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all
authority" (Titus 2:15). "This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke
them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith" ( Titus 1:13). "Them that sin rebuke
before all, that others also may fear" (I Tim. 5:20).
It means the
CALLING OF NAMES. "Of whom is Hymenaeus and Alexander; whom I have delivered
unto Satan, that they may learn not to blaspheme" ( I Tim. 1:20).
"For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world. . ." (2 Tim.
4:10). "Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him
according to his works." (2 Tim. 4:14). "But Elymas the sorcerer (for so is
his name by interpretation) withstood them, seeking to turn away the deputy
from the faith. Then Saul, (who also is called Paul) filled with
the Holy Ghost, set his eyes on him, and said, O full of all subtlety and all
mischief, thou child of the devil, thou enemy of all righteousness, wilt thou not
cease to pervert the right ways of the Lord?" (Acts 13:8-10).
Whatever "speaking the
truth in love" means, it does not forbid speaking boldly, plainly, making
manifest, to please God rather than men, to speak without fear, to speak to
shame evil doers, speaking only the truth, sound doctrine, reprove with all
authority, sharply and before all, and calling names of those in sin.
Christ is also a good example of
speaking sharply and directly to sinners of their sin. Read the 23rd
chapter of Matthew where Jesus condemned the religion of the scribes and
Pharisees in no uncertain terms. Was Christ speaking in love? In Revelation
3:19 Jesus said this: "As many as I love, I rebuke
and chasten. . ." To rebuke
sin is to speak in love.
False teachers usually deceive
by appearing to speak in love. This impresses those who do not care
for the truth. The doctrines of
devils include "speaking lies in hypocrisy. . ." (I Tim. 4:2). Even
some elders arise "speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after
them." (Acts 20:30). This is not speaking the truth in love. Some men use
"good words and fair speeches" to "deceive the
hearts of the simple."
(Rom. 16:18). Some "speak great swelling words of vanity" to
"allure through the lusts of the flesh" (2 Pet. 2:18). All of this
could not be "speaking the truth
in love" by Paul's own definition of it.
Most of those who criticize for
speaking boldly and plainly the truth of God, and rebuking with all authority,
sharply and before all, think of the love as applying to the individual to whom
the preaching is done. They view it as loving
sinners so as not to hurt their feelings and expose their error too sharply.
The real meaning of "speaking the truth in love" is to have that love
for Christ, for the truth, for the church, and for the lost souls of men so as
to hold nothing back that is profitable for them. Some have not the love for the truth
that they might be saved. (2 Thess. 2:10). We must love the truth more than the
"feelings" of men.
Our attitude must be right even
in speaking sound doctrine. To preach Christ without sincerity just to add
affliction to someone, or out of envy and strife, is not right (Phil. 1:15,16).
But this is not determined by the boldness and plainness of speech, nor by
sharply rebuking sinners and erring
brethren before all. We make no
apology for speaking the truth in love. This writer is not conscious of having
ever written or spoken in envy, strife or bitterness. At the
same time he intends to continue to speak the truth in love just as it was done
by Christ and the apostles. As I find it written
in the Book of books, I shall
continue to speak it with boldness and plainness of speech, God being my
helper. If I know my own heart I desire none to be lost, but all to come to
repentance and be saved.